What do you want?
What do you really want?
That is the heart of the final practice I teach all my clients – Your Pursuit.
Once we’ve gone through the work of:
- getting rid of Fake You,
- breaking down The Wall,
- committing to The Agreement,
- being clear on The Assessment, and
- knowing where we stand with The Still,
comes that last, final, and most important question:
What do you really want?
Think about your own answer for a moment. It can be a big question. What comes to mind first might be the basics of what anyone wants: more money, more time, more freedom. Maybe the answer is “I don’t know,” which is exciting and means the possibilities are endless. Whatever your answer, I challenge you to go a few levels deeper. Set aside 10 minutes with that question. Write it down and then each time, ask yourself why – why do you want that thing? For example:
I want more money.
Why? Because I want to feel financially stable.
Why? Because if I felt more stable, I could try a new business venture.
Why? Because I think this idea could really help people.
Just by asking “why?” three times, we’ve gotten from a surface level answer, down to what this person really wants: to help other people. If that’s what they really want, there’s a myriad of ways to work towards that beyond just adding more to their bank account.
We’ve all been given the gift of this one life, but so often I see people squander it or live smaller lives because we’re not taught the beauty and possibilities. I often find that what my clients really want can be boiled down to a better world, more vibrant life, or helping others where they’ve previously struggled. There is so much at stake if we all choose to live a life of ‘have to’ rather than want to, not just for ourselves but the whole world.
To know what you really want is powerful, but not enough on its own. Once my clients are clear on their answer, next it’s time to put words to action. I ask each of them to write down their next three action steps. Not big, month long projects – but rather ones that will move the needle in the next day or week. For example: text a mentor, block an hour, or test a new idea. I find that once the momentum starts, they’re much more likely to commit and achieve their pursuit.
As this is a practice not a one time exercise, the last piece is to schedule ten to thirty minutes on the calendar six months out. This is the time to review Your Pursuit, be honest with yourself on how it’s going, and make changes that move you towards what you really want.
