Transparency has always been a cornerstone of effective leadership. But what does it really mean to be transparent? It’s not just about being honest with information; it’s about fostering trust, encouraging dialogue, and leading with authenticity. Yet, the phrase “you can’t say that” often echoes in the corridors of leadership. So, what’s the deal with this common refrain, and how does it impact our ability to lead transparently?
When it comes to transparency I often think about the role of a therapist. They are there to hear from you, help you cope with emotions, understand your thoughts, identify harmful patterns, and improve the quality of life. The relationship between you and a therapist is an example of a place where “you CAN say that”. The more transparent you are, the deeper understanding both you and the therapist have of the subject, creating a clearer path to improvement. A therapist is a model for ideal relationships and a safe place.
Knowing this, why does “you can’t say that” persist?
A Culture of Don’t Share That
We are up against a tsunami of “you can’t say that” in society. From how we are raised to the design of public platforms. Generations have been raised to not share weaknesses because it could damage reputations. We’ve been told “don’t cry”, a blatant way to say your feelings aren’t valid. This is encouraging people to create thick walls and conceal their reality from the world, effectively hiding the true condition. Social media and the internet allow us to share anything we want, but most choose to only portray the best moments. This creates a false narrative for society that everyone’s life is flawless and filled with smiles, when we know that has never been the case for ourselves. But oftentimes when someone shares vulnerably or gives a controversial opinion, it is met with hostility or angst, further exacerbating the need to retreat and self-protect.
Talking about personal challenges or mental health issues in the workplace is still perceived as taboo, preventing leadership from addressing issues that we all experience. Nearly every statistic you can find shows a dramatic increase of mental health disorders over the last few decades. Knowing that our employees will spend most of their waking life at work, this is a topic we have a responsibility to acknowledge. An organization doesn’t have to become therapist, but at the very least needs to understand the impact of sweeping issues under the proverbial rug rather than discussing them honestly. If you have employees who are struggling and don’t think they can speak up, they will suffer in silence. Their productivity and commitment to your organization will decline in response. Most organizations either have no training programs or weak ones that don’t help their people communicate more effectively and address the topics we “don’t talk about.” This handcuffs leaders as they’re stuck attempting to solve all the issues, hidden and unhidden.
The Cost of Silence
When leaders refrain from sharing certain information or avoiding tough conversations, they might be trying to protect their team from discomfort or trying to maintain control. However, this approach leads to a lack of trust and disengagement. Silence can be misinterpreted as secrecy or dishonesty, creating a gap between leaders and their teams. The mere absence of communication creates rumors and fabricated stories, allowing others to fill in the blanks. In doing so, discomfort increases and controlling the narrative is lost.
Imagine a scenario where a company is going through a tough financial period. Leaders who choose to downplay or withhold information about the company’s struggles may be doing so to avoid panic or a mass exodus. As employees sense that something is amiss, rumors begin and speculation circulates, in turn breaking down trust.
Another challenge for leaders is the temptation to protect their image. Leaders often feel that they can’t share certain personal aspects. They feel that they must appear to be “in control” at all times. When a leader is nervous about a situation or unsure of what to do- they most often will default to hiding those feelings. The result is a breakdown in transparency that leads to lack of trust and, ironically, loss of control.
A client had merged companies, but the two would not share the true condition of their finances. It wasn’t just the employees they hid it from, but their own merged leadership too. This went on for quarters, a silly dance avoiding the truth. Then it all came to a head. We found out vendors weren’t being paid, contracts were broken, and lending opportunities were squandered. The companies dissolved. Had both teams swallowed their pride and shared the information, strategies and resolution could have been put in place to change the trajectory. It was all solvable, but because of their “you can’t say that” mentality, it was too late to help.
The cost of silence is quite literally the health and wellness of your own organization.
Transparency as a Trust-Building Tool
Transparency is necessary in building trust. It’s how organizations clarify issues and opportunities. It’s how relationships thrive in difficult times. It’s the key to setting a foundation of trust.
Being transparent doesn’t mean you have to share every detail or personal opinion. It’s about being honest and straightforward with the information that requires sharing. When leaders communicate honestly, they build trust and credibility. In turn, when leaders empower their employees to be honest, they feel valued and respected, and are more likely to stay engaged and committed.
Transparency also means owning up to mistakes and being accountable. Admitting it when you don’t have all the answers or when a decision didn’t go as planned shows humility and builds a culture where people feel safe to take risks and learn from their own mistakes.
Transparency isn’t any easier these days given the uphill battle our society has built, but it is a requisite for companies seeking real, sustainable growth and a culture people can be proud of.
Navigating Difficult Conversations
The phrase “you can’t say that” often surfaces when leaders attempt to face the challenge of delivering bad news or addressing sensitive issues. It’s tempting to sugarcoat or avoid these conversations, but doing so will backfire. The truth is already set, it’s clear, often factual, and sooner or later it exposes itself. Our people, our adaptable humans, have ways of rooting out the truth, and that alone should encourage us to err on the side of honesty.
The most admirable and effective leaders embrace difficult conversations as opportunities to provide clarity and direction. When faced with a challenging message, the best leaders approach it with honesty and empathy.
Several of our clients have gone through layoffs, a difficult conversation indeed. The ones that hide the reasons or fail to communicate the decision are often plagued with more issues, mistrust, and distractions causing them more time wasted and heartache. Those that explain the reasons behind the decision, the steps being taken to support affected employees, and the future outlook of the organization mitigate anxiety and actually build trust.
The goal is to have the difficult conversations and get in front of the narrative as opposed to finding yourself with a long list of conspiracy theories and angst. Go have the difficult conversation!
Creating a Culture of Openness
For transparency to be truly effective, it needs to be part of the organizational culture. Leaders should model open and honest communication and encourage their teams to do the same. Regular check-ins, feedback sessions, and open-door policies can help create an environment where transparency thrives.
Leaders ought to encourage team members to voice their concerns and ask questions and be fully present when they’re speaking. When people feel that their input is valued and their voices are heard, they are more likely to engage and contribute to a positive workplace culture.
The more honesty we provide our people, the greater their ability to absorb a challenging reality. The less honesty we provide, the more we leave our people foundationless, rooted in fear, anxiety, and speculation, giving them an inability to acknowledge and accept the reality around them.
The Balance Between Transparency and Discretion
There are exceptions to transparency, such as legal and HR type issues. Leaders must balance the need for transparency with the need to protect sensitive information. But don’t use these exceptions as excuses to avoid fostering a transparent culture.
In cases where being transparent is not possible, due to confidentiality or legal requirements, be clear about why certain information cannot be shared and offer what you can. Explaining the reasons behind the limitations will help maintain trust even when full transparency isn’t possible.
Conclusion
The phrase “you can’t say that” often reflects a fear of negative repercussions or discomfort and is a weakness in our society. But, embracing transparency is a powerful tool for building trust, fostering engagement, and leading effectively. By communicating openly and honestly, even in difficult situations, leaders will create a culture of trust and collaboration that drives success and innovation.
In leadership, transparency isn’t just about what you say; it’s about creating an environment where real communication is the norm, not the exception. Next time you find yourself thinking “you can’t say that,” ask yourself if the cost of silence is worth the risk. Embrace transparency and watch your leadership—and your organization—thrive.
