Why Brutal Honesty Is A Trap

Has anyone asked you to be brutally honest with them?

Don’t do it! It’s a trap! Brutal honesty is the wrong way to deliver honesty.

I can remember years ago, I had a colleague of mine that I shared my brutal honesty with. I was like, “Ok I’m ready, here I go. I’m going to share exactly what I think and precisely how I feel, and I’m coming at you.”

And that was my approach. I delivered brutal honesty and it has burned a bridge between me and this individual ever since. It was a mistake. I delivered it the wrong way.

So the right way to deliver honesty is to be 100% honest but also 100% loving at the same time. You can do it. I know it sounds hard, but 100% honest and 100% loving. Take brutal out of the equation, it doesn’t belong. It is a good way to rip a relationship apart.

So, now if anyone ever asks me to be honest with them, I make sure to tee it up really well. I tell them, “Ok what you are asking for is for me to be 100% honest with you, and I will do that. But you must be 100% open to receiving whatever I share with you. And whatever I share with you, you must know too, it comes from a place of love. I care about you, so I am going to give it to you. And then please, keep the conversation open after I give it to you, so we can just unpack it and understand it.”

When you tee it up that way, it is so much better received. So, brutal honesty is not the right approach. 100% honest and 100% loving is.

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