The script
“Will you agree with me on how we’re going to communicate? I want you to be 100 percent honest, meaning be truly and freely yourself, speaking into what you want and how you feel. I promise you I will be 100 percent open to it. I will listen without reservation. I will put my needs and wants on pause for you. In return, I will be honest with you, and I ask that you be completely open to it.”
Why it works
The Agreement does three things at once. It surfaces an unspoken contract that exists in every conversation. It makes the contract explicit. It gives both parties permission to say the thing they would normally hold back.
Trust is built in seconds when the rules of engagement are stated out loud. The Agreement compresses what usually takes months of relational history into a single shared sentence.
When to use it
- Before a difficult performance conversation.
- At the start of a leadership team meeting where a decision is stuck.
- In a partnership conversation that keeps cycling through the same loop.
- At the open of any meeting where honesty has not been the default.
Related practices
The Agreement leads into the five practices that follow. Continue with:
- The Assessment. The measurable approach to open and honest.
- Fake You. The façade we project rather than being 100% honest.
- The Wall. The divide we create between ourselves and others rather than being 100% open.
- The Still. A one-page snapshot to help you uncover and become aware of today’s version of you.
- Your Pursuit. The question to design the life you want.